When a loved one is in recovery, it can be difficult to know how to support them because their needs will evolve as they progress through their recovery. To that end, there are several things you can do to support a loved one and access ongoing resources that can help family members.
Ways of Supporting a Loved One in Recovery
There are several ways you can go about offering your support to someone in recovery, based on your relationship with them and where they are in their recovery. Early on, setting boundaries and avoiding triggers might be most important, but as someone continues to move through their recovery, this might extend to offering supportive conversation and engaging in sober activities.
Setting Boundaries
Supporting a loved one in recovery requires you to set boundaries. This might be the hardest part for many people who want to love and support those closest to them but will find it challenging when a spouse, parent, or child asks for things that can’t or shouldn’t be supported.
For example:
Leena has a son who is in recovery. Prior to seeking treatment, he was involved in a serious car accident, was charged with driving under the influence, and lost his license. He still doesn’t have a reinstated license, and yet he continually asks to borrow his mother’s car. Leena struggled to support her son and help him regain his independence without accidentally supporting bad behavior.
Avoiding Triggers
Supporting a loved one in their recovery means that you need to understand personal triggers and work hard to avoid triggering your loved one where possible. For some, this means a substantial change to home life or socialization.
For example:
Tom’s wife, Jessica, developed an addiction to alcohol. Now Jessica is in recovery, but some of her triggers include going out to restaurants or bars that serve alcohol or having alcohol in the house. This means that Tom has to make sacrifices by no longer having a glass of wine with dinner, drinking a beer when he watches football at the house, or attending social outings with friends where alcohol is served.
Supportive Communication
Supporting a loved one in recovery also extends to the right type of communication. The right type of communication needs to come from a place of support and love. This might mean avoiding the use of certain phrases such as “addict” and replacing them with things like “person with addiction.” Such phrases could create a more supportive home environment for a loved one.
On a related note, supporting a loved one in recovery extends to developing an understanding of things that might trigger them, and triggers could involve words. You should be mindful of the words a loved one asks you not to use or strongly reacts to.
Sober Activities
When someone is in recovery, especially as they move into the phases where they are regaining independence and developing new habits, one way that you can support a loved one is by engaging in sober activities. As someone moves through recovery, some of the biggest mental and physical health struggles they face are feelings of loneliness and isolation, particularly when trying to find new activities that don’t involve drugs or alcohol.
One of the best ways you can offer support is to suggest sober activities and participate in them with your loved one. This can include challenging activities that imbue your loved one with a reaffirmed sense of self-esteem, like learning a new skill, hiking, or rock climbing. It can also be simple things like going for a weekly walk or starting a book club.
Creating Supportive Recoveries with Aligned Living
With Aligned Living, your loved one can participate in life skills coaching, which exposes them to tools, education, and other skills that might encourage sobriety, be used with loved ones, and improve communication and independence.
These programs, including support for families, can provide ongoing resources during recovery long after a loved one has completed their inpatient or outpatient drug and alcohol rehab program. With Aligned Living, our goal is to empower individuals with ongoing aftercare no matter where they are in their recovery journey. We understand that long-term success is best achieved with support from friends and family, which is why support for families in addition to life skills serve such an important role.
Overall, supporting a loved one in recovery will look slightly different depending on the circumstances and where your loved one is in their journey. As a family member or friend, the best thing you can do is figure out what they need and work with them to provide that in a supportive and loving way. Contact our team at Aligned Living to learn more about our aftercare programs.